hola
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
09:11 p.m. whats goin on? I havent written for a while, so i decided to take a break from writing my essay and studying for finals to do a little updating. me and mike are still together. school is going well, except for ear training. that class is really kicking my ass. i'm pretty much failing right now, so i have to be perfect in my final. i went home for thanksgiving, which was ok i guess. we had to put my older dog down, which really sucked. we will get a puppy when i come home for christmas. man, i dont even know what to talk about. oh yea, this weekend i went to the jackass road show and hung out with Steve-O and Ryan Dunn. it was fun, but Steve-o is kind of an ass hole, but what do you expect. im gunna finish my paper now.

Monday, November 25, 2002
07:47 p.m. whats goin on. ive had an interesting couple of weeks mike and i had our 1 month anniversary, and we went to one of the hardest italian restaurants to get into. it was really good. i really love mike. hes such an awesome guy, and i dont know what i would do without him. this weekend was the best weekend ever. i got to hang out with marky ramone (the ramones drummer), jerry only (bassist and singer from the misfits) and dezi (guitarist from black flag). it was amazing. those 3 guys were the "misfits" and they played an awesome show. jerry signed my boob, the other guys signed my ticket, and i got dezi's guitar pick. it was great. i was backstage the whole time!!!! well, im gunna write an essay. peace

more
Sunday, November 3, 2002
11:02 pm ok, i need to write more, cause i made megan cry. ok, heres megan.... shes this cute, tall, poofy haired girl that i hang out with a lot. she makes everyone laugh, and if you think i made her seem like shes the mean one, shes not. i love hanging out with her, shes number one. i love the girl to death. i forgot to tell more about mike. of course, if you can tell, im on cloud 9 about the boy. here is how he asked me out. he had all of our friends come down to my room, he had his snare drum and justin had his guitar. they sang me a song when i opened the door, "when im 64". how damn cute is that. of course it made me cry. what can i say, im in love with the boy. i forgot to talk about one other person. his name is Fluff, but by birth, its dave. hes such an idiot. ok, he got stoned off his ass, and couldnt find any food except for this bottle of chewable vitamin C pills. there were 100 in the bottle, but 20 were missing, then he just kept eating them. we counted when he was done and there were 13 left. we calculated and he had 50,000% of his daily intake of vitamin C. god, hes such an idiot. ok, another story about him. he was stoned once again and he ate captain crunch, marshmellow fluff, and peanut butter all together. fluff, the fat kid food. hes gotten fatter since hes gotten here, and hes really annoying and no one can really handle him. ok, thats enough ragging on dave for now.

BERKLEE 2 (CONT)
Sunday, November 3, 2002
10:35pm OK, im back. as i did in the first entry ever on this thing, i am going to describe my friends here. here we go... Christina Smith: a bitch. she was my first roommate. i only had one roommate, but this girl is an absolute nut case. on the surface we were a lot alike. we are both adopted, same fav colors, liked a lot of the same music, b-days were close together, stuff like that. but as i really got to know her, she was weird. all she did was talk about about money and how expensive everything was in here room. it drove me completely insane. not only that, but because she bragged all the time, people know how expensive things are in my room, and thats not a good thing. anyway, im going to stop ranting and raving. ok, next person. Christina Bolden: one of the sweetest girls here. shes my new roommate. she and i get along perfectly, and shes a lot more down to earth. shes from maryland, and yea, i cant even think of anything else to say, because everything is just going really well. its always the long entries where there is bad to be said. lol. Mike Walsh: my boyfriend. hes a drummer, gorgeous, looks kinda like me, which is funny. hes from CT. for memorial day weekend we went back to his house in CT and i met all of his friends. hes the only one out of all his friends that went off to school i think, so i got to meet them all. i got to pick my own apples and pumpkin. being from LA, i have never been able to do that before. it was way too much fun! our relationship is amazing. we still have yet to argue, and we get along perfectly. i see myself with him for the rest of my life, which is strange, because you dont find that very often. i have found my soulmate in my first semester of college. how amazing is that. im managing this band that hes in, and its awesome, and i know it will get big. god, hes just amazing at the drums, i could watch him for hours. facial expressions are so damn funny. but yes, i love him. ok, next.... Jeremy - this adorable goth/metal guy who does photography for bands and things like that. hes sooooo fun, and such a great guy. Marc - jeremy's roommate. well, heres the thing about marc. i had a crush on him since we got here, and hes an amazing guy. hes originally from canada, but lives in TN now. hes gorgeous, and just a really down to earth, sweet guy. but yes, we stayed only friends. this is because he had a girlfriend. now, he and his girlfriend arent doing too well, and i would have a chance, but i have mike, so i dont really think about that. which is a good thing. marc is just becoming one of my closest friends ever, and i am so damn happy about that. CJ - also jeremys roommate. god, cj is such a funny guy. hes never had a gf, hes so innocent, but hes a crackup. i think of him as a really good friend. hes down to earth, sweet, caring, but can make you feel like shit when he jokes about you, but hey, its damn funny, and you dont care about it. Tony - my bf''s roommate. this is a funny story. i met mike through tony, because tony and i had a thing at the beginning of the year. he looks like trent from daria, which is why i was sooo damn attracted to him in the first place. we hung out a lot, and he is another version of me, just more drugged all the time. we call him grandpa, and hes just one of the most caring, sweet punkers i know. Justin - justin is just a great guy. hes from s. jersey, and hes an amazing guitarist, and a great songwriter. ive been hanging out with him a lot more lately, and i really like him a lot as a friend. Kevin Ice- god, what can i say about kevin. hes hot as hell, how could you not be with a last name of ICE. haha. hes from vegas and we actually went to berklee in LA the same year, and i think i remember him, but im not sure. he and i did the whole friends with benefits sort of before mike and i got together. hes a really great guy, and i know i will always act like his mother, no matter what. he is one of the guys im getting an apartment with next year with mike. Marty - hahaha marty, my pretty boy. hes such a sweet guy from Buffalo, NY. he dressed like a pretty boy, but hes hardcore at heart. hehe. hes become one of my closest friends here too. we have harmony and ear training together, and we both wanna kill our ear training teacher, because hes a major ass hole. marty is also one of the guys in my whole apartment thing. Joey Siracuse - joey joey joey. hes martys friend from home, who marty lives with, but he goes to Fisher. god, hes such a great guy. very true to himself, beautiful personality and he has a really good heart. not to mention the fact that hes also hot and has a cute little mohawk, and he shares my love of CKY and Jackass as much as i do. i didnt have anymore here like that until i found him, and now i dont feel stupid about it. oh yes, we went to see jackass the movie the day it came out, and we are buying CKY3 the day it comes out on dvd. also another boy in my apartment next year. Kelly - god, kelly is the shit. i only have 5 close girl friends here, Christina (good one, not the evil ex roommate one), and kelly is one of them. shes from DC, and we are sooo much alike. i love hanging out with her, and we do random girly shit together. Jesse - how great is this? shes from Burbank, which is 10 min from me back at home. she knows a lot of my friends and we;ve been to the same parties. shes got an amazing voice, and i could listen to her sing for hours. Nicole - another awesome chick. she plays drums like no other, and shes from Tahoe. shes into girls, but hey i know a lot of girls that are, so i dont care. she is just an awesome friend and i love her to death. Megan - this chick is funny as hell. she always makes you feel bad about you, but in an ok, and funny way. shes just fun to be around, and i love hanging out with her. well, my hands are tired, so im going to stop, but i will write more as of now.

BERKLEE
Monday, November 4, 2002
01:56 p.m. hey all!!! its been forever since i hae written in here. summer was awesome. god, what did i do. i worked 2 jobs: starbucks and oakmont country club, i went to a LOT of shows, i had surgery on my foot, i partied way too hard, went out with some people. dated a really awesome guy named jake. hung out with my fav girls in the world angela and meghan, and of course my best friend in the world, laci. after graduation i really didnt hang out with everyone anymore it was weird. i went to hawaii in august, which was of course awesome, more so this year than any other year, because i took laci. we tanned more then i usually do. oh yea iforgot, i got a tattoo theday after graduation. back to hawaii, we did a lot. lol. we went on a hummer tour, we went on a snorkle trip, we went to kona a lot, and just relaxed. it was awesome. now to the present. i go to berklee college of music and im enjoying every second of it. i have a amazing boyfriend named mike, who is the sweetest thing ever. hes from CT, plays the drums, and yes, we kinda look alike. its way too creepy. i had a bitch roommate who has now left me and i have a new one who is awesome. i have to go, but i will write more later. love, Erin

Prom
Tuesday, May 7, 2002
09:01 p.m. well, prom was interesting. the whole last week was interesting actually. my parents went out of town, and so, i partied all week. lets start with tuesday. jack came over, . we had a lot of fun, and smoked and drank. thomas and a few other people came over and we had a good time. then jack spent the night, cause i dont want to stay at my house alone, cause its too big and scary at night. then on wed. the same thing happened, and daniel susa came over too.. other people did too, like heather (who jack took to homecoming). and a bunch of oher people, and more drinking and smoking went on. i was totally fucked up that night, and i jumped in my pool and it was just too fun. then on thursday i had to pick up jimmy from hesperia, cause he was my prom date. hes an interesting guy, hes fun, but can get on my nerves. then some friends came over again and more stuff happened. then on friday, its party time. jack and i took jimmy out to covina with us for our party time that he and i hve a lot. we picked up some friends and went to a party, but it was stupid, so we all went back to my house. sean called, so he picked up a shit load of beer, and a few other people came over and we smoked. then on sat., i had prom. it wasnt too bad. i got to dance with a lot of my old friends like chase, tony, and a bunch of other people. i got more compliments then i ever have before, and it made me sooooo happy. i think i reallyneeded it. then, after prom, i smoked and passed out pretty much.i got hi to the point i couldnt handle it, and i didnt wanna make any bad decisions, so i went to sleep. i dont know who ended up at my house or anything. i took jimmy back home the next morning, and when i got home, my housewas PERFECTLY clean, cause joe cleaned it. so ya, thats all for now.

long time no write
Monday, April 1, 2002
10:31 p.m. I've got a real marine boyfriend!!! :-) jack's older brother joe was in boot camp for 6 months, and ever since he was gone, we've been writing letters back and forth, and i have always had a crush on him. he's one of the sweetest guys i know. he graduated boot camp friday morning, and came home that night. i had work until 12:30am, so after i got off of work, i got all decked out in this cute outfit, and dropped by the chamber singer sleepover (which was what my excuse was for not coming home that night), and laci claimed i was half naked lol. then i went down to joe's house and him, aaron, blane, and shauna (joe and jack's sister) were all up drinking and watching the matrix. so, when i got there, we took a beer run and got some really good shit. then, we stayed up all night watching the matrix and resevour dogs. by the time the second movie was on, we were all trashed. joe and i ended up laying down on the floor and snuggling all night. then the guys left in the morning around 10, and went down to mexico to get some drugs and shit. what nerds. and i spent a few more hours with joe, and we moved to a bed and stuff, and just slept. we of course did other stuff, but whatever, thats not the point. then i went home for a while, and then went to work. then, sunday, i was invited by his dad and his almost step-mom lynda to go to a church service at 5:30am, but i had work until 12:30am, so i didnt go, cause i needed to sleep. but, they called me when they got home around 9:30, and they wanted me to go to the disabled american verteran center in woodland hills with them, cause they go every year on easter. so, i went, and it was a lot of fun, cause his dad totally acted like joe and i were married, it was funny. so, after that i did my whole easter thing with the family. then, today, i didnt go to 1st or 2nd, and spent the morning helping joe find his clothes and shit in the garage. then, today i bought him a new pair of sunglasses, a pair of dope ass arnettes. he needed a good pair, so i thought it would be a cool thing to do for him. then, at 7, we went out to korean bbq, which was a lot of fun. i love going places with him in his uniform. damn does he look good!!! ok, well, i better go, you all will hear more im sure.

Chamber Singers and other stuff
Thursday, March 21, 2002
12:10 a.m. wow. tonight we had a concert, and i was really happy. ive been so stressed out with this SCVA shit, that i forgot that music making was the reason i was even in choir. im really getting into it again, which makes me happy. during the song, "there is no rose" i almost started to cry, which was the same for a lot of people in chamber singers too. so, ya, the concert was good, and we have our golden state competition tomorrow, which i feel ready for. even if we dont win, who cares, just as long as we make music. what else has happened lately? on saturday, ben(from south pas) took me out to dinner and a movie, and we had a really good time. we got to know each other better, which is something we wanted to do. he's really sweet, and really hot,and just an all around cool guy. we went to starbucks later too, and matt was there with doug and richard and his brother, and ben felt really awkward, but thats understandable. he thought matt would hate him or something for taking me out, but i talked to matt about it, and he doesnt care. he and i are over, and we are both fine with that. if we date other people, we date other people. the reason we broke up was cause we knew we shouldnt have relationships right now, but casual dating is fine. but ya, so, laci and matt and andrew and piya were there too, so we chilled with them for a while, which was fun. then ben and i went up the crest and just talked and looked at stars, and YES THAT IS ALL THAT HAPPENED. we kissed a little, but thats all, and i have to say, hes a good kisser. i really do like him a lot. oh ya, i got to see him after the concert tonight too, cause i went over to his house, cause he just got home around 10 from his pcc class he's taking. we're just trying to spend time together when possible. OMG I FORGOT! I GOT MY CAR BACK!!!!!!!! ive been without it fo 2 and a half weeks and its been driving me insane! its cause i finally was getting it fixed from being sideswiped by that RV like, 2 months ago. the ass hole has disappeared off the face of the planet. AAA cant get a hold of him by phone, so they are sending him a letter. ya, sure, hes just gunna throw the thing out. grrrrr. ass hole owes us like, ,000. my poor car. im sooo glad i have it back though! i felt like there was something missing in my life when i didnt have it, cause i consider it my child. im debating about taking the marine stickers off my car.....hmmm...ill think more about it. ok, im tired, and i think i have a throat infection, cause its swollen, and really sore. i hate this. i need to go to a specialist, whos gunna tell me never to smoke again. fucker. oh well, thats been my couple of days.

so much in one day
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
10:40 p.m. theres good things that happened today, and there were bad things. i will start with the good. Eric Witacre. OMG, i am so in love. he is a composer who is absolutely amazing. he and i talked some, and he went to juliard, and i told him i was going to berklee. he gave me a big hug and wished me the best of luck, and he said that we could get together if his opera hits broadway. his wife is the lead, and shes beautiful. damn. lol. so, we are doing 2 of his songs in chamber singers, and i just was drained at the end of his working with us. he is just amazing. he has so much energy and everything. ok, now onto later. laci and i finally hung out, thank god. she and i havent hung out at all lately, and its been making both of us mad. so, we hung out, and then my mom called (heres the bad part). jenny had left a message crying. she was about to leave to utah. her and her parents got into a huge ass fiight or somthing, and she said she would tell me the whole story later. so, i didnt get to actually talk to her, and her flight left at 9, so she should be there soon, and she will hopefully call me. i called anna and told her, and had her listen to the message. we called her house, and her mom said that she didnt know when she was coming back, and she didnt care. i got sooooo worked up after she said that, that anna came over, and took me and laci up to the house. we talked to her mom for a while, and got her side of the story, some things made complete sense, but others were total bull shit. i just really have this anger towards her parents, and i wanted to punch her mom in the face, but since im not a minor anymore, i would end up in jail, so i didnt. but thats what happened, and i will keep everyone updated on what goes on.

the BREAK UP
Thursday, March 7, 2002
12:02 a.m. ok, matt and i broke up tonight. i know i know, i didnt think it would happen either. we both have been getting the same ideas about how hard it would be to stay together after i go off to berklee and he goes into the marines. the other part was, it was easier for me and robert to stay tgether until he left due to the fact that he was only going to boston, and we would still be in contact. with matt, we wouldnt be able to talk at all except for letters every now and then. then, he goes off to different fucking countries. i will be surrounded by musicians, and he will be surrounded by foreign chicks with big tits. what will we both be thinking? "i wonder if they have done something with someone else cause we dont see each other." we have decided to become the best of friends, which i know will happen, because we are realy close. i will always love him, just because he is a great guy, he knows how to treat a woman, and i just love him. i know that everything happens for a reason. the weird thing is, he thought the same thing the same time i did. becoming friends. i started thinking about it at the beginning of the weekend, cause we havent spent as much time as normal together, and then when our time together kept getting worse, i realized that he has his own new world with the marines, and i cant stand in between it. im just glad we both thought of it the same time, otherwise it would have been difficult for either one of us. after we talkedon the phone, he came over, where i really broke down. once i saw his adorable face, i couldnt take it, and i started bawling. we went to my room and just talked, and i cried like a fucking baby. i really hate crying, let me tell you! we both knew it had to happen though, and we just held each other. im still going tohis prom with him, and im taking ricky to backwards. i dunno about my prom though, i might take ben, or ricky, i dont know. it really depends. i might even go back to my original prom date from afew years ago, my x boyfriend adam, who lives in el centro. i told him he would go to my senior prom with me if i didnt have a boyfriend, and he still wants to. i already talked to his girlfriend like, a month ago, and she knows that nothing would happen with us again, cause we are too good of friends, and i respect their relationship. anyway, i should ust sleep now to get my mind off of everything. matt i know you read this, and i want you to know that i will always love you, and i thank you for everything you ever did for me, and just for being who you are. i love you.

.....
Tuesday, March 5, 2002
02:07 a.m. well, im way too stressed out for words, i have way too much on my plate, and im just gunna die. for one thing, i have my independent project with ms. rios, which is organizing the SCVA festivals (for those of you who dont know what this is,its me putting high school choirs into festivals), and we fucked it up and we had to re-do it all. on top of that i have vocal lessons up the ass and so much work to get done with that. its with my vocal teacher, leanne, and we are doing sooooo much stuff preparing me for berklee, its insane!!!! since she went to berklee, she knows what i should know, and what we need to get done so that i can pass out of a few classes. so theres that, and then i also have work. last week i worked tuesday, wednesday, friday, saturday, sunday, and im doing the same thing this week too. my pay check is gunna be good, but i have no time. to top it all off, i cant even spend that much time with matt right now, which is really killing me, cause i feel like i need to spend at least a few hours with him a day, cause i care about him so much. its one of those things that was the only good thing really going on for me, and it feels like its dying, cause we havent seen each other too much lately. but i guess both of us working makes it really hard. i really will always love him, its just hard for me not to see him as much as i want to, cause im one of those people that just wants to be held by the one they love. then on top of all this, my mom is stressing me out to completion. she blew up at me cause my room wasnt clean. ok, i am soooooo stressed with so much stuff, i think she needs to calm the fuck down. i actually told her everything on my mind, which was good. she thought that i used to hate her, and that i still do, but i told her i really didnt and she needed to stop putting words in my mouth. we yelled at each other for like, 20 min, i cried and i cussed a lot. this was the first time that i cussed like a sailor and she didnt even say anything about me doing it, which is weird, cause shes like, little miss christian woman. i need a cigarette right now, god dammit. at least i got a lot off my chest that she needed to know. to top even this off, i have no car for 2 weeks cause i dropped it off finally to be fixed. aaahhhh so what else, ive been spending more time with ricky randomly too, which is kinda weird. hes actually becoming a really good friend of mine, and i kinda wanna take him to backwards just so that i can dance my ass off with someone that dances, cause matt doesnt dance, and he really hates it. i dont wanna force him to dance, but the thing is, i want to dance. so, its really hard for me. matt, you're prob gunna read this and get mad, but i didnt mean for it to come out bad, if it did. i just love to go all out and dance, and i know ricky will, and i dont wanna force someone to do something they hate. i dunno what hes gunna say if i ask him if he minds if i take ricky. he will prob get mad at me. its not like im going to hook up with ricky, cause thats never gunna happen. even if he tried something, i wouldnt do it, i would prob smack him or something, i dont know. ok, well, thats enough venting. i have to get some sleep at least.

long time no write
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
12:51 a.m. wow, havent written since right before i came back from boston. well, what has happened lately? matt and i had our one month anniversary on friday, which was a lot of fun. i took him out to dinner, since he paid for valentines. i didnt tell him where i was taking him, and the place we went, i had never been to, but i found out about it. its called Delmonico's. its a lobster house, but its kinda fancy and it has much more than lobster. theres one in bev hills, and one in encino, and we went to the one in encino, cause they have private booths. the food was sooooo good, and it wasnt that expensive at all. then we went back home to starbucks where we were all dressed up, and my ego went way high, cause all my friends there complimented me, which was too sweet. we met up with ricky and some of their friends and we all went and saw super troopers, which was damn funny. i got home around 12:30, and went to bed. ok, what else has happened.....i have no idea. im getting my car fixed finally. im going to the place tomorrow for them to check out everything one more time so that they can order everything and call me when it all comes in, which cuts down 4 days of my ca being there. thank god. i cant be without my car! its hell! after they fix my car, matts gunna take it to school and do the alignment, which means im driving his car to school, which is a raised stick-shift truck. oh god. oh ya, jenny's birthday was last monday (the day after i came back), and i took her out to dinner with matt, anna and brian, doug, and her friend seth. we went to korean bbq, and it was alot of fun, and i paid for 3/4 of the dinner, but it really wasnt too bad for 7 people, ive spent that much at dinners for 2 or 3 people at other places. i felt aweful about jenny. her parents didnt even say happy birthday to her or get her a present or anything. they have really been treating her like shit, and i hate seeing that. im glad shes gunna move to utah like, the day after graduation. she needs to get out of here. well, thats all for now, im going to bed, i just got home from work.

boston night 3 or something
Saturday, February 16, 2002
08:57 p.m. (11:57pm) today was a pretty fun day. i was soooooo tired, so i slept until 12, and got up and went back to berklee by myself. see, my mom really wants to bring my grandma out here when i move in (her mom), but she is getting frailer and frailer, and we dont know if she would be able to make the trip, so we decided i would take a shit load of pictures of boston, so she can see where i am going to be living. its really hard for her to think that i will be all the way across the country. so, i went to berklee and took a bunch of pictures of buildings, then i did a little shopping for some friends and i got these 2 shirts that are too cute for myself. then i met my parents at the mall, were i got new luggage, cause i really needed it, so, im coming home with 2 extra pieces of luggage, and im gunna use both, sort of. well, at least they wont be heavy. cause im still bringing back the one i brought with me. then i went over to beacon street and took some awesome pictures, cause that area still has the original cobblestone streets in some parts and stuff like that. it is soooooo damn cool. then at 4, we went to see blue man group. my mom ended up leaving before it started, cause we were in the front row, and she didnt wanna wear a parka and all that, she was jst being bitchy. but i have to say, there were parts she wouldnt have liked. it was sooooo awesome though. then we went to my favorite restaurant here called "pappa razzi" its sooooooo good!!!! then we got some ben & jerrys and here i am bored, cause i cant sleep. we come home tomorrow, and we have to leave here at 6:45 am (my time), so i will be back 12 something CA time. im really excited, i miss all my friends, especially matt and laci. i miss matt so damn much, it hurts. i really do love him. man, i think i say that in like, every entry. lol. ok, off to bed i go, i really need to fall asleep somehow.

boston day and night 2
Friday, February 15, 2002
08:17 p.m. (11:17pm) today was a pretty fun day. i got up around 11 and had breakfast, then we walked around. i tried some dreses on at jessica mccintock, but nothing spoke to me, some fit really well, but the colors made me look really pale and stuff like that. then we went to see the USS Constitution, which is a boat from the 1700s, and it was really cool. we went into the museum too. then we came back, and my parents decided to go to beacon street, and i got a hold of this girl leah who goes to berklee, and her friend lives in a dorm. i got to see it, it wasnt too bad, im really excited actually. then i came back, and took a nap for 2 hours, and then we went out to this really nice italian place. i actually drank a bunch with my parents, so i was pretty damn tipsy when we left the restaurant, and we walked around a little. my mom was the same way, so it was funny. we walked to paul revere's house, its cute, and somewhat small. then we got a cab back to the hotel, and im here now, and im better. ive been talking to matt a bunch while i am here, and i miss him sooooo much. being apart really made me realize how much i care about him, even more than before.

Boston night #1
Thursday, February 14, 2002
11:08 p.m. (2:08am) well, since i wrote earlier, i went to dinner at this really cute seafood restaurant, and then to the singers night. there were lke, 10 performances from different students, and they were all really good!!! they have soooooo much talent. im gunna do that one day. :-) then i came back here, cause i couldnt get a hold of john, and i went online. then who came online....ROBERT...so i im'd him and told him i was here. apparently, he usually goes out with his friends and drinks on thurs. nights, but tonight he decided not to, and so, i took a cab around 11 and went to his dorm. boston university.....hmmmm...its like, one big building, idont like it too much, but hey, he likes it a lot, so more power to him. his room is pretty big compared to th shit hole im gunna end up with, and he did a good job on making it look good with his roommate, whos actually really cute, and hes a nice guy. he told me they get along really well. so, we hung out for a while, then he took me back to my hotel, giving me my first T experience. its like a subway, but its not always underground. its pretty cool. then we came up to my room and chatted some more, he saw my parents and said hi. then around 12:30, i walked him downstairs and got him a cab, and i gave him cab fare. it was good to do what we did, cause i realize i dont feel the attraction to him anymore, i feel like i am on the friend level with him again. matt has made me soooo happy, andi think that was what i really needed. so yea, thats what happened, now im going to bed.

boston day 1 (4:53pm)
Thursday, February 14, 2002
01:53 p.m. well, im here in boston, and im having a great time so far. i got here last night around 9, so i didnt get to do anything. this morning i got up and my parents and i went down to berklee admissions and turned something in, and stuff, then we went and bought tickets for the singers night which is tonight. then we went shopping, and we went to neiman marcus. i NEVER shop there, but its about 20 degrees here, so i needed gloves. i got these leather ones...man...are they comfy!!!! and i went upstairs and just looked at jackets, and we were planning on finding me some really good warm ones for when i move here next year. so, i ended up getting a red burbury one and this really thick cashmere black one. they are soooo cool! prob the most expensive things i own. my parents got me a real red kate spade bag too, i only have fake ones at home, its my valentines day present. man, im not used to expensive stuff, i usually stay away from it all, but whatever, its all gunna last me a lifetime, especially the jackets. after that, i met up with this guy john, who was a student of my vocal teacher back at home, he lived in pasadena, and now hes a freshman at berklee. so, i met up with him and his friends after one of his classes, and we spent like, 4 hours together. he showed me around berklee, and all the buildings and stuff like that, and he showed me where his apartment was, and then we went shopping to find some cheezy stuff for my friends. then we went to starbucks and i bought us coffee, since i get my discount. then we departed, but we planned on meeting up later that night and geting drunk and stuff. he is soooooooo damn hot, oh my god. but, i have matt, and i love him, and i think matt's hotter, so there. anyways, he was really cool, so i hope we can ang out tonight with some of his friends. well, i need to get dressed for dinner and then the concert, so i am gunna go, i will write later.

about to leave
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
10:14 a.m. i leave for my flight in about 20 min to go to boston, and im kinda nervous. there was a bomb threat this morning at lax, but apparently everything is perfectly fine now, but still, its scary. im going to miss matt soooooooooo much!!! he came over to see me this morning at like 8, and ran some erands with me, which made me happy. oh yea, last night was our valentines day. he told me he was wearing a suit (how hot is that????) and i picked him up (cause his truck doenst like freeways too much) and we went to my chamber singer rehearsal until 7 (he looked soooooo damn good!!!), and then he drove my car, and didnt tell me where we were going. he took me to gladstones in santa monica, it was soooo good. he makes me unbelievably happy!!!!! we had a great time, and the food was great too. guess what he gave me? a big white teddy bear, its sooooo soft, and it says i love you on the bottom of its foot, and he gave me a dozen roses. i had ordered him his metallica flag and a metallica lighter, and i have been pissed cause it didnt show up for so long, but when did it actually come? yesterday! how cool is that? so i gave them to him, and he loved them. god, i love him so much. we had the most romantic evening. when we came into the choir room, i think it was either andrew or hans...it was andrew....who said "you guys look like a married couple" and i totally agreed. i had on my jean tube dress and a little top over it, and my glasses, and he was in this suit and his glasses. i apparently looked like a lawyer or something when i was carrying my choir folder, it was funny. anyway, yea, matt and i are extremely happy, and we do act like a married couple. thats prob cause we are gunna be. :-) god, i love him. ok, the limo is here, so i must go off to LAX. goodbye all, if something happens I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PARTY
Sunday, February 10, 2002
11:20 p.m. well, its been a while since ive written, but i dont wanna think back and write everything that has happene since. the first major event happened on thursday night. i went to matt gangi's house and hung out with him for a while, and we jammed and had a great time. then we were talking and he was all, "i found a picture of you and Ismael the other day" Ismael is a guy from loyola in our grade that i went to a dance with a few years ago, we havent talked too much since though, but he was an AWESOME person. well, apparently, he had cancer, which i never knew. it was bone marrow cancer, and he passed away a month ago. i had NO idea until thursday. i didnt take the news that well, so i left and went and saw matt at his work and told him what happened, and then i met ricky and karla at starbucks, and they cheered me up. when i got there hans was there, and i broke down and started crying a lot, and he comforted me. after all that i went home and cried all night, i didnt go to school on friday, cause i knew that i wouldnt be able to handle it. so, matt and i spent the day together and got all my party stuff done. his mom cheered me up too, cause we talked for like, an hour. so thats the depressing part of my week. onto my party, which was last night. i had a great time. ok, 200 people said they would be there, but no, there was no alcohol, so how many people came? about 70. i was soooo pissed, cause i bought sooo much food and drinks and shit like that. by the end there was about 30 of us for I Decline, which is fine, i dont care. i was talking to joey's (the drummer for i decline) girlfriend, and we agreed that its better to have a smaller group of good friends that will always be there for you, even if there isnt alcohol, as opposed to a lot of drunken idiots that just came for the booze. joey said that we were actually th best crowd they have ever played for, cause there wasnt one song that almost everyone either moshed or skanked to. it was crazy. im sooo bruised and battered, but i love it. i had a great time. the one person i was happy about the most who came was this other guy named joey, who i met at the berklee in LA thing this summer. he and his friend were gunna come, but his friend bailed on him, and his parents drove him all the way from santa monica and droppe him off, and picked him up. i was sooooo excited to see him, i havent seen him since the summer. hes such a great person, i totally love him. a lot of people came in and out though, like travis myslevic, and sam stranger and all them, which was dope that they came by to wish me happy birthday. unkle filthy played a good show too, i love those guys. i miss josh though, hes a great bassist. oh well. my friend cheyne's band played first, they were awesome, i love their sound. they're infuenced by tool a lot which you can tell. oh yea, it was cute, the i decline guys gave me a sweatshirt for my bday, and played a few songs that i requested like, last minute. my friend ben came too, he's friends with jen, who i worked with at oakmont, thats how i know him. man, was he flirting. i totally used to have a crush on him, and it was really hard for me not to flirt back. i love matt with all my heart, and i would never cheat on him, if he wasnt there, i know ben and i would have hooked up. i love matt though, so that will never happen, cause matt and i are actually really serious. he is such an amazing guy. well, we cleaned up the community center. spanky, matt watson, laci, hans, matt and i were the last ones there cleaning, and we got it all done, it just took a while cause we were all sooooo tired. i let them leave and just matt and i stayed for another 30 min. cleaning the rest and locking up. i got home at 1:15am, and what time did i have to wake up? 6am!!!!! AAHHHH how much does that suck?!?!?! i got off of work at 1, and went home to bed until like, 5:45, then watched legally blonde, and then went down to dominiks to see matt for a while, he got off at work around 9, so we went to starbucks an met up with ricky, richard, mike, and doug. karla was working, so i got to see her to. now, im going to bed, cause i have to go to school. im leaving for boston for 5 days on wed. which im soooo excited about! OK, BED TIME

DISNEYLAND
Sunday, February 3, 2002
12:11 a.m. well, we didnt have school yesterday, (technically 2 days ago, cause its sunday morning now), so matt, ricky, and i decided we would go to magic mountain. ricky used to work there, so we would have gotten in for free or for , BUT NO, we called, and they said they were only open on sat. sun. and on school holidays. apparently just cause we were out of school, it wasnt considered a school holiday. so, we went to disneyland instead, the unhappiest place on earth. we got a wheel chair, so we got front of every line, which is always fun to do. then ricky ran over my toe and we actually needed the damn thing, cause it hurt to walk soooooo badly! we had a lot of fun though. ricky is beyond entertaining. i decided that i wanted to get pictures with a bunch of the characters, so i got a camera. i havent done that since i was 6. so, we got it with captain hook (who played with my hair, he was making me nervous), pooh, tigger, eyeore, chip and dale, goofy, buzz lightyear (who i got to do the punk sign!!!! hahahah yes!), and i think thats it, i dont remember. i will have to see when i get my pictures back. i think i got pluto too. he wouldnt sit on my lap in the wheel chair, but oh well. we went on every ride like, 3 times, and we were there until around 8:30, then we left and had dinner at denny's after walking around downtown disney, which was pretty cool. then, ricky being the idiot he is, he left his pager at denny's, which he realized when we got home. what a nerd. his mom actually picked it up for him today, cause she was going out to his grandma's house anyway, and she passes by there. then tonight, the 3 of us saw Slackers, since ricky works there now, we got in for free. it was a dumb movie, if i had to pay for it, i wouldnt have seen it, but i didnt, so who cares. matt and i wont get to see each other very much tomorrow (today), cause i work from 10-3, and hes working at 2:30-10 (hopefully 9) cause he works at Dominiks, which is right by office depot. oh yea, laci finally got to meet him today. i love her new hair color, i think it looks great. well, since i have to wake up in 9 hours, im going to bed.

grrrr
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
10:20 p.m. so yea, i wrote yesterday, but no, right when i was done, my computer froze, and it didnt save it of course. so....i had written a shit load, and now im gunna redo it. ok, starting where i left off..... FRIDAY: well, i worked from 4:45 until closing, which was hell. i got home at 1 something in the morning, because Lorenzo is an idiot. we were there forever!!! the sweetest thing was that matt stayed until i got off of work, and he had gotten there around 10 cause he was working, and hung out with ricky and some other guys outside while we were closing up. it took forever and he waited, which i thought was the cutest thing in the world. SATURDAY: this was a very interesting day. matt and i went shopping after he met up with his marine guy, and i got new shirts for work, and i found an AP book to study for gov. then i dropped him off, and went home to find out that my parents were going out and i had nothing to eat for dinner, so matt's mom invited me over. i went over and studied while she was making dinner, and then we ate. it was too cute. then i had work at 8 until closing. so, i went to work, where it wasnt too bad. well, of course it was hell, but we closed faster. matt came around 10, andhe even helped us clean up by doing the patio, and vacuuming the floor inside. what a sweety!!!! but the coolest thing about this closing, was that andre brough special brownies, which we ate around 12. they of course dont kick in for an hour or so, so we got off at 12:30, and i went home, and matt and ricky went over to andre's house and smoked out, cause ricky had some shit. so, he got home at like, 1ish, and we were talking online, and i swear to god, our typing got soooo bad. that shit hit me hard!!!!! it was great. so, yea, and then i had to wake up and go to work at 6am. not a good thing. SUNDAY: i woke up to a phone call at 6:10, and it was Lorenzo, who i was opening with. so, i got down there at 6:20, and i was still faded. i made myself a 4 shot espresso, and i was fine once i got busy working. i got to leave at 11:45, and i went and picked up matt and we went to the country club and had brunch with my parents and the o'connors. then i studied and stuff, and he came over when my parents left around 5 something. we hung out and did a lot of talking, and he told me that he loved me for the first time. its weird, we both agreed that it felt like we had been dating for like, 4 years. its sick, we already have plans for when i go to college, and he goes to the marines. ok, then i had to go back to work at 8 for 2 hours to do inventory. so, it wasnt too bad, then he and i grabbed some dinner and i went home. MONDAY: i studied for my AP gov final from 4-10 at starbucks. it started out as a study session with anna, martin and andrew, but they left me in like an hour, and i stayed. it actually made me concentrate. matt came around 8 with his marine guy, cause he was with hime taking tests all afternoon. this guy was soooo awesome, he's as tall as me and hes ripped like nobodys business. TUESDAY: ap gov final is over!!! yes!!! i went to lunch with jason and hans, and matt met us at panda panda. then i went over to his house, and we rented american pie 2, cause he hadnt seen it before. we had a good time. then, he had to go to his CHP thing, and i went to starbucks and hung out with karla, ricky, the marine guy (sargent valdez), and some other guys, and matt showed up around 9:30 or so, then we got to hang out until 10:30. which was nice. we are trying to see each other as much as possible. he's even been meeting me at starbucks for coffee in the mornings too. its too damn cute. TODAY: well, matt met me for starbucks this morning, then i went off to school to take my dance final. we had to run the mile, which sucked my non-existent penis! the wind was blowing and things flew, and it just sucked. then we had to do sit-ups, and i was already winded, so it sucked, and then we did lifts (the dancing portion of the final), and i got an A on that. then i did some work for ms. rios, and then i waited for matt to get out of his final, and we went to korean bbq for lunch, which was good, like always. then we went back to his house and hung out until i needed to go to physical therapy. he went with me to that, which was nice. after that, he had to go sign a bunch of papers at the marine place, and so, i went to my paz naz church thingy. he got back around like, 9:30 or somthing, and he came over while i was cleaning out my car so we could see each other one more time. damn, we are so pathetic, but i love it. im falling in love with him more and more every minute. ok, well, ive done enough talking, so im gunna go tobed.

so damn happy
Saturday, January 26, 2002
01:37 a.m. well, its been a few days since i have written, and of course lots has happened. its 1:37AM right now, and i got home from work at 1:15...but i will talk aout that later. lemme think....wednesday.... i slept through 1st period, and went over to matt's house during 2nd, so i could find a parking spot at break. then i went back to his house after lunch, cause i decided not to go to 5th and 6th, cause i was gunna help him with his essay on "a brave new world" which i read a few years ago. before i went over, i went to starbucks and got his fav coffee, and when i brought it to him he was really surprised. apparently, his ex-gf never really did anything out of her way for him, and things like that, so he was really touched. his mom thought it was really sweet too, she didnt like his ex at all, and apparenly she really likes me, which is a good thing. and then later that night, he came to dinner with me and my parents and the o'connors, and they all approved. they like him a lot, probably cause he and i are so much alike, he actually has a personality and knows that he wants to make something of himself later on. so, that was wed., now on to thursday. i met him and ricky at starbucks at 2 with hans, which was a lot of fun. omg, it was too funny, his ex walked into starbucks, and im wearing his letterman jacket right, so ricky asked me to go get him a drink, just to kinda be a bitch and wear his jacket in her face. hey, she was an ass to him, so i was glad to. she gave us all dirty looks, it was hilarious. then i had to work, and so did matt. i got off at 9, and he was getting off at 10, so i went to his work and we hung out a little until i needed to get home around 11. we sat and talked about our ex's and a lot of different things. it was really fun. ok, onto today. school was ok, nothing much went on. i met matt up at his house around 2, and we just talked and cuddled, which i love doing. then we went and picked up his little sister at rosemont, and then i had to go home and get ready for work, and so did he. he got off around 9:45 and he brought me dinner. i got to take my break during the busiest time of the night, which was dope. he ended up hanging out with ricky, and he stayed at my work until i got off at about 1am. it was soooo sweet. just the little things he has been doing, im really fallin hard for him. so thats all thats really happened, now im going to bed.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
11:48 p.m. IM GOING OUT WITH MAAAATT IM GOING OUT WITH MAAAATT. i'm too giddy right now for words. i picked him up for dinner and we went to min's kitchen (he has a car and drives, but i told him i would drive). it was really good food actually, i'd never been there before. then we went to ms. rios' concert in pasadena, and it was amazing. he had never been to something like that before, and so ive decided i will bring him into the world of culture. he looked so damn good tonight too, he got a little dressed up cause i told him i was going to. man, did he look hot. he enjoyed the concert, and im glad. during the intermission, we went outside and chatted. i asked him what we were doing, and he didnt know, but he felt like his old opinion of notbeing ready for a relationship was coming to an end, but he wasnt sure. but, afterwards, we were walking over to where ms. rios was, and i asked him how i should title him as....and he told me whatever i wanted. so i told ms. rios he was my boyfriend, which felt so good to say. he even ended up giving her a hug when we left, which was a major bonus point on his part. then we were driving home, and i asked him if his decision had changed or anything, and what was going on, and he told me he wanted to be with me. and i was all jittery, it was funny. but yea, im really excited, and he just told me that his mom liked me, which is a good thing. well, im tired from all this excitement, im going to bed.

end of my guy search
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
06:18 p.m. well, a lot has happened since i last wrote. yesterday, i went snowboarding with carl, and my friends from cv....ricky, matt, and richard. ricky works at the UA, and is always in starbucks so i got to know him and his friends really well, so we all decided to go snowboarding. i really really got to know matt, and i really like him a lot. we had fun boarding together. im really proud of myself, cause i actually bombed the hills and even passed up the guys, and i was carving like mad. i am sooooo happy. anyway, i was really tired and sore, so matt and i decided we wanted to relax after we all ate and the guys went back up the mountain. so he and i talked and cuddled in richards truck, cause it was 33 degrees, and it has a cabin, so we stayed warm. we hooked up just a little bit, and we talked most of the time, it was really awesome. then, i let him drive my car back, and we held hands, which is always cool. then we all went to starbucks and hung out a little, and then i went home, where i realized i had left my camera in richards truck, so i called richard and he told me matt had it, so i called matt. they were back at starbucks, so i drove back and got it from him. he and i chatted a little, and i asked him what he wanted, and he said he didnt know, but it seemed like things were changing. cause when we were cuddling in the truck, he told me that he didnt think he could do the relationship thing yet, cause he had just gotten out of the 1 1/2 year one. so ya, that made my day. so, onto today, we met for coffee at 2:00 and just chatted and stuff, then i went onto my physical therapy, and later we are going out.

my sunday night
Sunday, January 20, 2002
10:57 p.m. well, i had work today from 2-7:45, which actually wasnt too bad. it was fun. it was funny as hell, chace went into the bathroom there and didnt come out for a good 5 min or more, and when he got out and was gunna order his drink, he was totally sniffing and rubbing his nose. i cant believe he fuckin snorted in my starbucks bathroom, good lord. anyways, after work, i went out to dinner with this guy named ricky. he is a senior at cv, and he works at the UA, and he always comes to see me and my friend karla at work all the time. hes really really hot actually. so ya, we went to dinner, then we drove around for a while, and we ended up hooking up a litte, which was fun. hes a really nice guy. im actually going snowboarding with him and his friends tomorrow, and im taking Carl. it should be a LOT of fun. i love snowboarding with guys, they dont complain about anything. well, i should get some sleep, cause i have to get up at 4am.

my date with andre
Saturday, January 19, 2002
11:39 p.m. well, the date went really nicely. andre called me before he came over, and told me that he had forgotten that he had made plans with a friend of his a week ago, and wanted to know if it was alright that he came along, and he even said it was ok if i said no, but the nice person i am, i said yes. he came to my door looking hot as usual, and we go to the car, and i get in and look at the driver. its will! he went out with my friend kat in 10th grade, and i have only seen him twice since he graduated that year. it was nuts! so, we went to city walk, and we ate at some sushi place,and it was really really good. andre and i flirted all night,and we linked arms and all of that, and he made eye contact with me a lot even when neither of us was talking, which is always a major plus for a guy. so, after we ate (andre paid for me...yes! it was an official date), we wandered around a little, and played in the water thing, where they shoot up at you from holes in the ground. it was a lot of fun, until i got REALLY WET!!!! i went right after the 2 of them and i got soaked, mostly on my right leg, my inner left leg and my stomach. it sucked. i gave andre a big hug and got him wet too, hehe. then we went to the little ride thing that my friend's brother used to work at, its like star tours but better, and we did the street louge one, which is my fav. then we walked around more, and stuff like that, then we left, cause we decided we wanted free starbucks cause we were cold. so we came back to LC and got some coffee. the cool thing is, my friend jen was there with jessica and desi, and i love those girls, they graduated from cv last year, and i worked with jen all summer at the country club. so, i got to chat with them for a while, which was good. then we went back to my house (only the boys and me) and they met my parents (andre hadnt yet, but will had a while back), which made my mom feel better. she felt kinda uncomfortable with me going out with someone she hadnt met, an didnt really know anything about, cause they left before i did, so they didnt get a chance to meet him when they picked me up. we hung out in my room for a little while, and i told will earlier to hint at andre about hookin up or something, and apparently he told him that i liked him, and stuff, and it looks promising. they hung out for prob half an hour or so, maybe longer, and we just chatted. i had a really good time, and i really hope something happens, cause i like him a lot. at least i got one picture of him and me with that water thing, will took it for us, i want to get it developed. :-)

i have a date.....
Thursday, January 17, 2002
09:47 p.m. I HAVE A DAAAAATE WITH THE PRETTIEST UUHHH GUY IN TOWN I HAVE A DAAAAATE ....WITH ANDRE!!!!! (little Vandals for you for all of you that know punk music) ok, i am soooooo excited, i called andre today, and he decided that we would go out and do something together on saturday, and i am sooooooooooo happy!!!! this is gunna be awesome. i am one giddy person right now. anyways, so thats the news, and im gunna go to bed and stuff.

blog blog blog blog
Monday, January 14, 2002
10:18 p.m. ok, well, when i first started this blog, it was just cause my friends were doing it, and i found it a way so that we all knew what was going on in each others lives. well, that ended in my head, i realized that it was really a good place to vent out my feelings and agressions. if someone wants to read this, thats their porogative. i dont read anyone's except for martin's and andrew's, due to the fact they tell me to read theirs. if someone doesnt tell me to read their's, im not going to. i was told by a secret someone to read amanda's, well, i guess she keeps reading mine, cause she commented on me saying i wasnt invited to her party (which i dont care about). i think that i should be able to say whatever the hell i want in my blog, cause let me think, its my blog. and if she has a problem readng that i dont like her hair, then gosh darnit, DONT READ IT. thats the problem with people, if they know they dont need to read something, and they know it will prob piss them off, they do it anyway. well, i guess i did that too cause i did read hers. the thing is, she could bag on me all she wants in hers, and i could give a flying rats ass. and on the subject of us peacefully coexisting, i could care less, to me, she doesnt really exist at this point. she did me wrong, therefor, shes not on my list of people i would like to even b aquainted with. sooooo, ya, that was my venting for the day. onto other topics. i had a really bad migrane this morning, to the point that i threw up. yummy yummy. i picked up ingrid,conrad and chas anyway and took them to school, where i decided i needed to go home and rest. so i came home and slept until 2:30, which was really really nice. i started physical therapy today too, its for my migranes, cause they have been getting so bad. so, the physical therapy consists of massaging, stretching, and stuff like that, god, it feels nice, although i was in some serious pain when he was doing it. then i went over to my grandma's house, cause she had a present for me. its this really soft blanket with this funny, angry looking bird on it. she told me, that when i go to college in boston, and i wear that blanket,i can look at it and its really my grandma all upset that im so far away from home. i thought that was too sweet. i really love my grandma, and i really miss my other grandparents too. my dad's parents died within 2 years of each other, my grandma being the second to go the summer after 8th grade. my mom's parents are both still alive. well, i better finish some homewrk and go to bed.

long time no write
Monday, January 14, 2002
01:19 a.m. well, lots has been going on since i last wrote in here. what happened on friday...well, i closed at starbucks, which wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. andrew, the guys from cade and girlfriends, and martin came in after their comedy sportz thing, and i made them free frap's. then when we closed up, andre (hot as hell!!!!!) had his boom box thing so we could listen to different music, since the overhead one only reads starbucks cds, so we listened to NOFX and Rage Against the Machine. i got home at about 12:30 am, and totally crashed, and my feet hurt really bad! then, saturday, i slept in until maybe 12 or 1, and i called Laura (O'connor), and she had an interview in a few hours at Crocodile Cafe, and she would call me after. so i finally got my ass out of bed at 2, and started printing out all of my invitations and addressing the ones to go to the Marlborough girls. then laura called me and i went over to her house. i got to hang out with David for a while, his surgery went really well right before christmas, and he's now on one crutch and he's able to drive a little. if i didnt mention before, he hd surgery on his ACL. then laura's friend jessica came over, i have hung out with her a few times, and gotten to know her, and i think shes really cool. us ladies went to panda inn for dinner, and then went to their friend mark's house, and their friend anthony met us there. we watched the cutting edge, which was a cute movie. mark is this really sweet guy, whos funny as hell. he's one of those guys you would make a little project with, cause hes got the personality, and a potential look. i reall think hes a cutie though, and we hit it off really well. we were at marks until about 2:15am, then we went back to laura's and jessica headed back to UCLA. laura and i ended up falling asleep around 3:30 or 4am, and waking up around 11:30. then i had to come home, take a shower, eat some food, pick up laci, and go to hollywood to see this dance performance thing. we are both in dance together cause we both need a semester of PE, and its a requirement to go to some kind of dance performance, and this is due monday. so, laci found this dance thing in the paper, and we went. it was really interesting, it was this little dinky place in a god-forsaken bad part of hollywood, but hey, we were fine, and it was daylight. the dances were interesting, it was very modern, and a few scared the shit out of me. like, this one guy, was dressed all in black and had his hands, feet, and face powdered white, and had a single spotlight on him, and he acted like a dying rat, it was really really really freaky. it was supposed to do with the human spirit or some shit like that. so that was that. then, she and i went to goldsteins and got bagel sandwiches, and a starbucks and andre was working (yum). then we went back to her house and did some homework, until i talked to andrew, and he and i decided we would meet up at starbucks and do our AP gov together. so i went and did that for a few hours and came home. so, that is my story for the past few days. oh ya, sat. night was amanda's birthday, and who was the only one she didnt invite? me. do i give a shit, no. and is her hair bad? yes. sorry, pent up agression.

like my new page?
Thursday, January 10, 2002
11:17 p.m. well, andrew fixed up my page for me, i like it a lot. what did i do today....i had school, which sucked like always. i woke up at 7:45 this morning, went to school at 8:30, got the last parking spot, stayed in my car for 30 min and studied for AP gov, then made it to the last 10 min of geology. i needed a little extra sleep. i had a vocal lesson today too, and thats really all i did, nothing exciting. just wait until the weekend, i have the whole thing packed!!

starbucks
Wednesday, January 9, 2002
10:34 p.m. i had the best day at work today. i worked with this girl heather, shane, michelle, and i forget the other girls name. but we had a good time and i made a LOT of frap's. i have to work on friday from 6-12:15. blah, oh well, its closing. well, thats all, i cant really think of anything i wanna talk about, cause i have a lot of homework.

closure
Monday, January 7, 2002
09:05 p.m. well, today was an interesting day. school started back up unfortunately, but hey, it had to happen right? then, i left during 6th period, and i called robert up (the imfamous ex boyfriend of 6th months for those of you who dont know him). i knew he was still home, he goes back to Boston University in a few days. we went to coffee and talked. we talked about a lot of things, our relationship, school, other relationships, sex, people at his school, and other things. it was nice, got us free starbucks, and we just relaxed and smoked. i really feel like it went well, and he thinks so too, cause he wants me to call him when i come out to boston in feb, and we will do coffee again and i can see his dorm and meet his roommate. which should be a lot of fun. so, we are friends, which makes me happy, cause i didnt want him to hate me. i finally realized that i am happy without him, and i can really live without him. as much as i was angry at him for a while, i have always had a place in my heart for him. i know it sounds cheezy, but we went through a lot, we had the time of our lives together. we went through everything, from sex to snowboarding to the most amazing dates i could ever asked for. he was a great guy. well, thats all that really happened today. i saw tyler for a few minutes too, which was cool, he's still a really great guy. i also talked to ben on the phone for about 2 hours, which made my day. we are just gunna stay friends, and hang out a lot and stuff, which is cool.